More Gamma World Short Fiction

The Frank Steen Report
An Archivist Parable

The Journeyman must exercise great caution and wisdom when applying the divine technology of our Ancient forebearers to latter-day Thesis. Guard against impure Research and remain steadfast in the face of Development. Let us consider the life of one Frank Steen, a Scientist documented by Marys Eleen in her text, "The New Prototypers" as an example of Reckless Experimentation and Unsound Hypothesis*. Eleen describes Steen thusly:

Having taken refuge in his laboratory, the once amiable Steen took to experiments which even I, his biographer, am reticent to describe. He had indeed rejected the true Intellectual Orthodoxy of Archiving and turned to the Unsupervised Research of Science. Not content with this he sought ought similar minded individuals and indulged in the forbidden acts of Cross Discipline Studies. It is said he was searching for the Scientific Method or the 7 Logical Fallacies, but even I cannot say for certain what Steen was ultimately searching for.

Blinded to the Faulty Conclusion to which he was surely headed, Steen built a Prototype of the most heinous sort, constructed by Jury-Rigging the sacred spare parts entrusted to other Archivists, and illicitly stolen from their laboratories. Yea, this much is clear. That same society of Archivists, the true keepers of the Wisdom of Science, which Steen had so mightily offended was roused by a sense of deep injustice. Not content to suffer one of their own Colleagues, they shook with anger and gathering themselves together as one body they sacked the laboratory of Steen and slew the insane Scientist within. Afterwards, they burned his despicable Lab Book, erased his White Board of Equations, and threw the Prototype into a nearby gorge. Verily, they said that day that "Frank Steen is dead. His Grant is Rescinded Forever. Let none Review His Findings for ever and ever. Amen.

* Much of the first two-thirds of the original text are missing, and much of Eleen's commentary and reporting has been clarified by the Infallible Censorship of later generations of Archivists.


Hunter_Rose said…
I wonder if Dr. Steen's middle name began with a N?