Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Mother Tongue: A Cajun Boy's Curse



In this second installment of Mother Tongue, I want to take you down south to Louisiana where folk take football, food, and other words that begin with 'F' a lot more seriously than the rest of us. It's safe to say, Cajun folk are both big fans of their college football team and harbor very untoward feelings with their bitter blood rivals in Alabama. To make a long story short, Coach Nick Saban left LSU and has since ended up coaching for Alabama. How much do LSU fans hate Nick Saban now? Here's how a recent ESPN article, Gimme an F, described it:

"Now, lots of people dislike coaches. Michigan fans loathe Jim Tressel. Buckeyes can't stand Joe Paterno. Nittany Lions detest Bobby Bowden. Those are normal, acceptable levels of hate. But LSU fans hate Saban more than store-bought jambalaya, more than FEMA, more than Yankees who confuse Creole with Cajun. The man loved 'em and left 'em. This is personal. This is cultural. This hatred is…intergalactic. "You could draw the analogy to Star Wars," says Indiana professor Ed Hirt, an expert in fan behavior and why sports turn ordinary grown-ups into psychopaths. "It is going to the dark side."

Get that geeky analogy? Brace yourself, and let's read what Cajun Boy, an LSU fan living in NYC, has to say in this epic masterpiece in the art of the curse.

Oh Nick Saban...Have I told you lately that I hate you? I'm not sure who I hate more, you or that foreskin-butchering Jesus freak Tim Tebow. If someone handed me a gun loaded with one bullet and then presented me with you and Tim Tebow and forced me to decide who to use my one bullet on, I would just turn the gun on myself, for the torment of knowing that I could only choose one and that one of you fucks were still living in the world would be too much for me to live with for the remainer of my days.

Read the whole thing here: An Open Letter to Nick Saban. You'll never think of The Terminator the same again.

And sadly, LSU lost the game.

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